


Love and Lies

by OnTheCrazySide



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 13:15:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2548835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheCrazySide/pseuds/OnTheCrazySide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alina doesn't listen to Baghra about The Darkling. The love those two have is not as strong as the destruction of the Shadow Fold. But when the Darkling finally tells the truth, will she care for him like she does now or will she regret everything they had together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love and Lies

He is the Black Heretic," she said furiously, her face mere inches from mine. 

"Of course he is." With some effort, I pried her fingers loose and stepped past her to the door. "I'm going to find you a Healer and then I'm going to bed."

"Look at me, girl."

I took a deep breath and turned around, my patience at an end. I felt sorry for her, but this was just too much. "Baghra-"

The words died on my lips.

Darkness was pooling in Baghra's palms, the skeins of inky blackness floating into the air.

"You do not know him, Alina." It was the first time she had ever used my name. "But I do."

I stood there watching dark spirals unfurl around her, trying to comprehend what I was seeing. Searching Baghra's strange features, I saw the explanation clearly written there. I saw the ghost of what must have once been a beautiful woman, a beautiful woman who gave birth to a beautiful son.

"You're his mother," I whispered numbly.

She only nodded her head and the dark tendrils had disappeared.

"Now, you must go before disaster will happen," she said in an urgent voice but I did a double take. This woman who had trained me harshly and yelled at me and hurt me with her stick was telling me that the Darkling was the Black Heretic.

Why should I believe her? I had already told the Darkling that I trusted him.

I shook my head.

"No, you're insane. He wouldn't do that. I know he wouldn't. Even if you are his mother, he isn't a monster that you think he is," I hissed at her and she looked taken back.

"Don't act foolish, girl," she strictly said and I rolled my eyes.

"I think you really need a Healer," I said and I started to leave but she grabbed my arm.

"If you choose wrongly than whatever happens is your entire fault," she stared at me and I shook my head again. I yanked my arm from her grip and ran out of the secret passage way.

I ran to the domed room and I walked straight to the Darkling's quarter. I took a breath. Mal and the other trackers had left already, so I had nothing to worry about. The name of Mal gave my stomach a twist. I shook it off and opened the door and walked down the hallway that was familiar with me and opened another set of doors. I looked around and saw the Darkling at the end of the table having a talk with Ivan. He looked up when I had entered. He whispered something to Ivan and he got up and left, giving me and nod of acknowledgment.

"Alina is everything all right?" the Darkling asked me. I was going to tell him what happened but I couldn't help but glare at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I hissed.

"Tell you what?"

"That Baghra was your mother," I said and he stood up and walked towards me.

"So she told you," he said and I gave him a scowl.

"You're not answering my question." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"It wasn't worth telling," he said softly and I saw something in his eyes that disappeared quickly.

I took a breath, "Baghra told me that you were the Black Heretic."

His eyes flickered to mine. "She told you that."

I nodded. He shook his head.

"I knew she was insane," he muttered.

"What?" I asked him. He sighed again.

"I'm not the Black Heretic, she is." I was taken back, Baghra the Black Heretic?

"How is that possible? She was the one who trained me to control my power," I told him and he put his hands on my shoulders.

"I think it's because she wanted to find your weakness," he said and I felt myself tense. A million things went through my mind but I was taken out of it when he pulled me in a hug. I was surprised for a moment but melted in his arms and hugged him back.

"Thank you," I heard him whisper.

"For what?" I asked.

"Trusting me; you could've believed her and left but you didn't."

"I told you I trusted you and I will always trust you," I murmured and I felt his hand lifting my chin to meet his eyes. He granite eyes were full of desire and care. He leaned in and kissed me ever so softly and I let out a groan in pleasure. I had actually missed his kisses, his touches. I didn't want to lose him. But a thought occurred to me.

"Wait," I pulled away and he gave me a confused look, "what about Baghra?"

"I'll get my men to find her. She must have left by now; old coward," he said and he let go of me. I felt my face blush and I saw him smirk.

"I'll take you to your room. You must be shaken on what had happened, I'll meet you there when I'm done," he said and grabbed my hand and led me to my room. We walked in silence but it was a good silence. The corridors were lighted by the moon and it shined down on us. In my point of view, it seemed romantic but in the current situation, it wasn't, with the so called 'Black Heretic' gone.

The Darkling opened my door and I entered.

"I'll be back," he whispered and I nodded and watched him go. I closed the door and I sat on my bed with a frustrated groan. I played with the lace of my kefta and then the charm. I smiled; he had given me this.

"Alina Starkov," a familiar voice said and I smelled the scent of a tomb. I stood up hastily and turned around. It was the Apparat; he was in my room but how.

"How did you get in here?" I asked him and took a step back when he walked towards me.

"Alina, you must go. It's happening too soon, too fast," he said. The words were almost exactly the words he was going to tell me earlier when I ditched him in the crowd.

"What are you talking about? I had enough nonsense for one day," I snarled and he took a few more steps. I backed up to the door.

"The Darkling," he started and I growled.

"Stop, I don't want to hear that he is the Black Heretic and those other damn unreasonable comments about him."

"But, Alina," he said and the door opened behind me and I fell into arms. The Darkling's arms; I felt them wrap around me and his arms were tense.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked; his voice smooth.

The Apparat looked at him and then his eyes flickered to me.

"Leave and leave Alina alone," the Darkling barked orders and the Apparat left without another glace.

"Are you okay?" his voice broke through me. I nodded and curled in his touch.

"Please don't leave," I whimpered. I didn't want another person coming to me and saying the exact same thing that the Apparat and Baghra had told me.

"I won't," he said and led me to my bed. We both lay facing each other, staring into each other's eyes. Then in a quick motion, he grabbed me into a fierce kiss and I groaned. One of his hands in my hair while the other rested on my waist; my hands on his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart.

I could feel the tension in his jaw, like he was holding back on something; holding back on giving me a real kiss or whatever he thought was a real kiss.

"What's wrong," I gasped against his lips.

"I should be with the others making plans to find Baghra," he whispered. I pulled back.

"Then if you have to, you can go," I said and embarrassment erupted on my face and I looked down.

"But you need me with you. I know you do. I'll make them tomorrow; right now, it's just me and you," he said and his lips rested on my neck.

It's just me and you, the words repeated in my head. I put my hand in his hair and moaned. The moonlight was the only source of light and his silhouette shone through the light. I could feel his fingers undoing the buttons of my black kefta and then his fingers on the bare skin of my waist. Uncontrollably, my hands unbuttoned his kefta and he shrugged the velvet material off and flung it to the ground. He had a white shirt underneath and my hands went under the shirt, feeling soft skin on top of hard muscles. His muscles contracted to my touch and his grip on my waist tightened.

He pushed the fabric off my shoulders until it was off, leaving me bare and vulnerable to him. His hands skimmed over my skin, making me shiver in response. The rest of our clothes were on the floor and the bed creaked from our weight.

We lay in the bed, it was late at night but we were both awake. I was in his protective arms and we looked at the ceiling, not talking. So I decided to start a conversation.

"What will happen when you find Baghra?" I asked him.

"I don't know; thrown in the cells, maybe be thrown in the Shadow Fold and be eaten by the volcra," he was in thought and I snorted.

"Eaten by volcra?" I asked him and he gave an involuntary shrug. I sighed and nestled in his arms.

"What's going to happen after this?" I whispered.

"Things will go back to normal, mostly, but when they have the amplifier for you, then we can destroy the Fold," he said but something passed over his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"What makes you say that?" he gave me a confused look.

"You just seem uneasy," I commented and he smiled.

"It's good to know that you care. You're the only one who actually cares for me and not pretend to. Everyone fears me or hate me of some sort but you care when no one else did. Not even my own mother," he said the last sentence in disgust.

"Hey, don't worry about everyone else. If they hate you or fear you, then let them. The only important thing is that I care and that's all that matters now. I will always care for you," I said with his face in my hands.

He looked at me with surprise, "So you won't regret this?"

"What makes you think that?" my eyebrows furrowed.

"That tracker," he said simply and I felt the well of anger bubbling up in me. I remembered the argument we had.

"He's just my friend and nothing else," I mumbled.

"Is everything all right between you two?"

"We just had an argument," I answered him and sighed.

Then, he opened his hand and dark tendrils come from his palms and up into the air. I watched as they spiraled with one another and then, I held out my hand and a dim light flashed up and entwined with the darkness. It looked beautiful and it represented them; darkness and light together as one.

"I remembered the first time I saw you, or saw your coach," I said but I didn't stop the light and neither did he stop the darkness. He gave a smile.

"Really, I don't remember seeing you until I heard what you could do," he said.

"I remembered that your coach almost ran me over," I said to him and he gave a chuckle.

"How is that to laugh about? If I were to be run over, I would have been dead and you would have no Sun Summoner," I sneered at him and he stopped laughing but kept a smirk.

"Okay, I'm sorry, but you weren't run over, were you?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Clearly I don't look like road kill."

"No, you look beautiful," he said softly and I looked up at him, the light and dark tendrils disappeared.

"No I don't," I said.

"Yes you do," he said and placed a kiss on my lips.

"Now, go to sleep," he whispered and I lay my head on his broad, bare chest and closed my eyes; waiting for tomorrow and the complications that were going to go on.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
I woke up from the sunlight hitting my eyes and I groaned inwardly to myself. I shifted myself but something held me from moving. I looked up and saw that the Darkling was sleeping and had his arm wrapped around me. Then, the previous night came to and I blushed. I decided to study his features: his face was relaxed but was a bit tense, his dark eyelashes casted shadows on his high cheek bones, and his hair was mussed.

Now, his eyes were open, his granite eyes glinting and his lips held a smirk.

"Good morning," he said softly.

"Morning," I replied back and I could feel another blush coming; such an effect that he had on me.

"I think you should hurry and dress before suspicion comes from the domed hall," he said.

"What about you?" I asked him.

"I'm going to speak with Ivan and my men about Baghra and send out a search for her," he answered me and sat up, bringing me up with him. I could feel the cold air hit my back and sent a shiver on my spine. But that was replaced my warm hands skimming my exposed skin. I leaned in closer to the Darkling's arms.

"I'll come back tonight, if you would want that," he said hesitantly.

"I would love that," I whispered to him and he gave me a genuine smile. We started to move our faces closer in and kissed each other. It was a small but passionate kiss.

"We should really go," I whispered and he gave a sigh.

"You're right," he said and he got out of bed and started to pull on his clothes and then his kefta. I did the same but put on my midnight blue kefta. I combed my hair down the best that I could. I could see in the mirror the Darkling looking at me with a bemused grin on his face. Once I was finished, I turned to him and saw that he was closer than I thought he was.

"When can I see you again when you're done making plans" I asked him.

"How about noon at the lake," he suggested and I nodded. He pressed his lips to mine and then grabbed my hand and led me out of my room to the domed hall.

"Bye," I said and he looked at me and nodded.

"Bye," he said back and went into his quarters. I quickly walked to the Summoner's table and Nadia and Marie gave me a look.

"What?" I asked them.

"You and the Darkling, cough up," Marie said but there was something light in her voice.

"Uh… There isn't-,"

"Nope, don't say there isn't anything going on. We saw you two holding hands," Nadia said with a smile playing on her lips.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, being in denial.

"Don't act coy, you two like each other," Marie squealed quietly and I could feel my face flush. I didn't really know what to say. They knew about the Darkling and I, so I had to tell them, right?

"I-," I started my sentence but was cut off by a scream and I turned around. I instantly saw blood on the floor. My mouth opened in shock and my eyes trailed up and saw a broad shouldered man that had a black beard with a curved sword in his hand, and it had smeared blood on it: Fjerdan.

"Ubit' ikh!" the Fjerdan yelled and then multiple Fjerdan came running from places and started to attack the Grisha. Screams and cries erupted and the Darkling's doors flew open and he came out and absorbed the scene. I saw his eyes lock with mine and whatever showed on my face, he ran over to me.

"Are you okay?" he asked me and I nodded.

I remembered my last encounter with the other Fjerdan that had attacked me and tried to kill me.

"Alina, you have to use your light to help the Grisha," the Darkling said and I nodded. I took a deep breath and held out my hand and my light had pierced the black bearded man. He gave a grunt and the Darkling swooped his hand in a slicing movement: the Cut. I looked away before I saw what happened. I heard a yell and then the man was silent. I didn't dare to look at the corpse.

But I did anyway and saw that he was wearing a purple kefta. That must have been the way he had come in the Little Palace. I looked around. Fjerdan warriors were everywhere but the Inferni were defending everyone with their bright, hot fire even the Tidemakers were helping. The others were fighting, even I. My training with Botkin had improved ever since.

Fjerdan and Grisha were falling but still fighting one another.

Then the room went into darkness and a loud noise, like thunder, erupted the room and the darkness ceased. Most of the Fjerdan were dead now, but there were more. I was panting hard and when a pair of muscular arms grabbed me from behind and put a sack over my head I kicked out furiously.

"No, let me go!" I screamed but I didn't know what was happening, I couldn't see anything. I grunted in my struggling but it didn't work. Someone carried me away and I screamed.

"Alina!" I heard the Darkling's voice but was muffled when the door shut and I was tossed to the ground in an unceremonious way. I shoved the sack off my head and was met by a shark sword.

"Stand, witch," the Fjerdan said. This one had red hair and reminded me of Mikhael. I stood up and looked at the man.

"You make a move, I will slice your head off," he snarled and I kept still.

Think, Alina, I thought. I looked around and saw that it was an abandoned room that no one ever used. I started to panic.

"This is for Fjerda," he said and jutted the sword forward and training with Botkin came to me. I moved to the side and grabbed the hilt, where the Fjerdan's hand was and gripped it tight. He looked at me surprised but snapped out but I punched him in the face. He grunted when I heard a satisfying crack and he dropped the sword. I grabbed it and used my training with the situation.

"Why are you here?" I asked him. He looked at me.

"To kill the witches, of course; you all think that you are much important and higher than the rest of us. You look at us like we're mundane. But you, all the witches, are mundane. You make no sense in this power and is unequally unfair to the rest," the Fjerdan explained. I shook my head and darted to him. I was able to slice open his forearm.

He swung his massive arm at me and hit me and I fell backwards. The sword was out of my hands. I stood up quickly and swayed a bit. I ran for the sword but he was faster and tackled me to the ground.

"Not this time," he growled.

"Move!" I screamed and he smiled at me.

"You are such a pretty thing."

I tensed when I felt his hand roam on my arm and up to my neck.

"May as well have fun with you," he said in a low, guttural voice.

His hand went down my chest and clutched my breast. I screamed in protest but my arms were trapped under his knees. I felt tears well up and I couldn't conjure my light. I guess it was because I was so terrified right now that I couldn't concentrate at all. The tears flowed down and as did his hands.

"NO!" I screamed and I screamed and screamed. His hand was going under my kefta and clutched at my bare skin. His other hand came to the top of my kefta and gripped it and started to rip it to pieces, leaving my skin to become exposed.

"No, please, stop. I beg you," I cried and tried to pry free but he was too heavy.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you," he whispered and I screamed again.

C'mon, light, shine, do whatever to defend yourself! I screamed in my mind. He kept ripping the material and most of it was destroyed and he roamed the bare skin. I cried more and wished for help.

Then the Fjerdan screamed and sat up quickly. Then he was split in half and I crawled away from the body and curled in a ball. I was shivering and shaking uncontrollably at what was happening. He had explored places that only one person had ever been before and I was terrified.

"Alina," I warm voice said to me but I didn't do anything in response.

"It's me, Alina. Please, look at me," he said and I did. His hard eyes were on mine and he was angry. He got up and went to the door and slammed his hands together and dark clouds drifted to the Fjerdan's heads and they all fell to the ground. He walked back to me and embraced me while I cried in his chest.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier," he whispered to me and helped me up. He looked at my entire body and shrugged off his kefta and put it around me and did the buttons so nothing was showing. He put his arms around me and helped me walk.

People were staring at me and had sympathy in their eyes.

"Get guards to surround the palace, now," the Darkling commanded and Ivan nodded and went off.

"Everyone, help clean," he said and they started to clean up the place and Healers were helping the injured, which there were a ton of Grisha injured.

"Are you hurt?" the Darkling asked me and I shook my head. We walked to my room in silence and when we got there, he sat me on the bed and grabbed my chin, gently, and turned it side to side; not caring if I answered that I wasn't injured, he wanted to make sure.

He started to move the kefta off my shoulders and I closed my eyes and gave a breath.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said softly and I nodded my head and looked at him. He was only wearing a shirt and pants without his kefta and he looked different.

He took off the material and I was left in my destroyed kefta. It was only ripped near the tops of breasts but showed off more than I wanted it to, near my waist, and the rest was ripped near my legs and my arms. I could hear a growl come out of the Darkling's lips.

I looked down at myself and felt ashamed. I couldn't defend myself and I was going to cry again but he cupped my face in his warm hands and made me look at him. He got on his knees, so that we were at eye level.

"I couldn't, defend myself. I feel weak and… and," I stuttered out but he shook his head.

"No, it wasn't your fault," he said and laid his head on mine. I looked in his beloved eyes and put my arms around his neck to draw him closer.

"I'll protect from now on. You don't have to worry about anything. I'll be there," he whispered and I nodded.

"I'll get Genya," he said and pressed his lips to my head and left. I got up and walked over to the mirror. I looked at myself. I looked like a mess. My hair was wild an I didn't have to explain my clothing. I heard the door open and Genya appeared in the mirror. I started to cry, feeling weak.

"Oh, Alina," she said and came over to comfort me; all while the Darkling watched.

I looked out to the lake. It was nighttime and everyone was sleeping. Genya had taken my destroyed kefta and ordered one of the Frabrikators to mend a new one.

I looked out of the lake, where I was supposed to meet the Darkling at noon but was cancelled from the earlier events. I was haunted by the moment but tried not to think of it. I closed my eyes.

I felt someone wrap their arms around me and I leaned into his arms.

"I won't let anyone hurt you, anymore," the Darkling whispered to me and we stayed like that for a long time.


End file.
